Silly Pink Bunnies

2009-07-16T10:28:00.003+08:00

I feel like im losing everything. Every friend,every soul that ever meant so much to me. Its my fault for being this way. But I dont think being around them makes much of a difference. Ive been rejecting every outing,every social get away. I feel very rimas honestly. I only like one on one sessions.Three is a crowd. Cuz Ive never learn how to converse or relate to someone new besides you.
For more than a decade. I only have one friend.
One friend that I grew up with.
But I can't help feeling desperately jealous with the other one in the picture.
I know Ive not been making an effort to meet up.
To shower you with the best gifts.
To be able to go out late at night and have supper at cool places.
Im only just the girl next door.
The most kental girl,inside out with nothing to give but just pure love.

I'm sorry.. I dont intend to hurt u or jeprodise this friendship in anyway. Ive been bottling things so deep..Bottomline is. Im jealous. And its all my fault. ='(

2009-05-30T14:24:00.004+08:00

I wanna grow up looking like her over the years after I get married.
Nigella is just soo sexy,cooks well,a domestic goddess,voluptuous and oh soo stunning. Arman wont complain if I ended up like her.I bet he won't mind at all.. :)

2009-05-17T23:50:00.003+08:00

im back from my very punkrock trip. still feeling all woozy and lethargic. I bought a hell lot of stuffs and after spending 4 days and 3 nights with Arman, I still miss him like crazy.I still couldn't believe that we both are all well and still lovey eventhough we got into each other's nerves so badly when we got lost at Sunway Pyramid. And we were both super tired,hungry and cranky and we were desperately trying to find our meeting place. Ended up with an argument and tears. haha. how stupid. But the whole trip was really great, really disorganized and we totally crashed both hotel apartments. HAHAHA... I'll update even further once I get the pictures .. Something totally unexpected happened. And the dudes were risking their lives.

2009-05-11T22:37:00.003+08:00

I am finally done packing my bag. And I still feel like throwing out some of my clothes cuz my backpack is bulky. HAHA. no lah..maybe once i bring out the sweater,it'll be just fine.. i swear the sweater takes up more space than any other clothes. Its a 3 days 2 night thingy and i brought 7 underwears. HAHAHA! okay. i am like frigging hungry and super sleepy. so which one shall I do?? I'll do both of them simultaneously! eat on the bed and i'll slowly fall asleep with stomach half full. perangai budak gemok. TATA! see you asses in 3 days time!! AND i miss those bitches up there.! SARAVANNAN and AH BOY ANG KONG SIAOOOOO. HAHAH! Jihah,I'll buy a pink colour dress for you and Rena,I'll bring home a bottle of butterflies. hahaha! ok bye.

2009-05-10T01:22:00.004+08:00

2 more days to go and I'll be off. I wish we were going somewhere else besides K.L cuz K.L is overrated and it is just like Singapore and I am sick of industrialization and pollution and people and dense areas and concrete jungles cuz I'm a sick ass motherfcuking environmentalist in my own form and I would love to be as one with nature. oh..kay..

My spending money was reduced to a S$100 only okay! wat am i suppose to get with a 100 bucks? buy keropok lekor and water? but im feeling soo guilty cuz it's my mom's money. worthless daughter. i should have save up before hand. but i just cant. i am allergic to ishak's. if you know what i mean. Anyways, I'm seriously and desperately finding for a job. From L.V to Starbucks to McDonald's operator (minus the minah outlook), I am contemplating PLUS procrastinating. But NO. SURIANTI, you need to find a job like A ASS A PEE. oh no, i can't believe my heels are very dry and chapping. THIS IS A SIGN OF AGEING!!!

oh, FYI. My eldest brother just dropped the marriage bomb over dinner last night. He is getting married next year. WOW.WEEE!! and he said that he only plans to have kids 10 years down the road. Can i kick his balls please? He'll be freaking 40 lah if he gets his first child and that is damn ass stupid lah. What if he falls ill (selisih) by 50. And his kid will be like 10 years old? Too young to take care of his parents let alone himself. sheesh. But whatever it is, i am excited cuz I'll be getting the room all to myself minus all their belongings which includes a whole section of TRANSFORMERS.(mind you, the eldest is 30 and my second brother is 26.) A LUGGAGE full of ACTION FIGURINES. which I actually intended to try to sell one of them and see how much I can get. HAHA. Their helmets and motor spare parts and their gadgets. Oh, they can leave the PS3 behind. I dont mind. Sigh.. but I'll definately feel the emptiness once they are out from here. The petty bickerings, the name callings, the pao-to(ings).. And I have like 5 years more before I settle down?

Hahaha.. I wanna get my things done first before I get married. My own car, my own savings up to $10 000 or more to get myself ready for any kind of setbacks. AND I wanna travel with Ibu and Abah and let them taste and enjoy my money before I grab hold of my biggest responsibility. INSYA-ALLAH. Cuz what Tok Said asked my brother stil rings in my head when he broke the news that he's getting engaged. Tok Said asked my brother a simple question which left him dumbfounded. "Dah puas kasi mak bapak makan?" And I dont want be in a position where I cant answer that.

2009-05-06T12:09:00.005+08:00

20 months had passed.. and I'm still loving you like crazy. Our date was fun,steamy and sexy. And it was such a good feeling being wrapped in your arms again. You looked hot and cute and I wish I could bring you home and tell my parents to marry me off with you there and then. Hehehe.. I like the idea of having the whole theater to ourselves and then entertained ourselves when the show bore us to death. I wanted to go Italian but you didnt and we ended up having stomach aches after that. I like the intimate conversations and whispers in my ears. I've never felt this smitten before. I Love, LURVE, LUP (NOT luppy luppy eh. :p) you alot alot alot alot! Thank you for being the best there is. I still can't get enough of you. You're too addictive.

2009-05-03T20:22:00.003+08:00

say goodbye to good old me. im changing for the worst. and i can feel it. i am ashamed of myself. ok. maybe not. im just turning into a bitter woman who is not sure of anything anymore. Maybe it would have helped me abit if you were'nt always keeping things to yourself. I know I am a very difficult person, and understanding is my flaw. I am trying my best to kick that habit. I dont know why am I being so hard on myself and on you, especially. Maybe because you've treated me way too well than others did and Im putting a high standard on you and is always expecting good things coming from you. I'm sorry. I'm just human and I've always had high hopes.

I know you're asleep now and I'm having this major headache. I still wanna meet you tomorrow and cuddle you and keep telling you how much I love and miss you. Despite the arguments and petty fights, I still love you dearly. Just keep assuring me that you'll do your part and I'll do mine. I still wanna grow till I'm 80 with you and have you still serenading me with Fall Out Boy songs.. :(

2009-05-01T01:29:00.001+08:00

I"m turning into a MEGA L4D freak. And tonight,im finally sleeping. haha.

2009-04-29T01:15:00.003+08:00

Life have been quite mundane since school's out. Erm.. being eating alot lately and been telling myself that one day all those flabs will go away as soon as i start exercising tomorrow. In which, tomorrow never comes. Im staying up late again cuz I just hibernated for one solid day. I need to stop eating junk foods and start getting myself back on track with proper diet. Bla bla. who am i kidding? Tmr night, will be kill the bitch ass zombie night with El. Saturday is cookout day with his family. Sunday is chill out day/picnic by the beach, If we are not too lazy and IF the weather have mercy on us. And MONDAY. well, i've yet to have a plan for monday.

Maybe I should die my hair blonde and see how it feels like to be Paris Hilton for a day? See,i just spelled out 'die' instead of 'dye'. Or just oogle at Mr Hottie at youtube on his live performances and have twitchy orgasmic moments by myself. mental glitch.

"she's always buzzing just like, neon, neon."

2009-04-28T01:01:00.007+08:00

School's out. Saturday night out with the girls. And a naughty engagement over the weekend for my cousin. hahahhaa.. god. i am finally catching up on my sleep.. Movie marathons, junking, and taking things slow.. way too slow..

I thought since Im not doing anything today, i might just start cleaning up the whole house. And so I did, I like the feeling of throwing alot of the old stuffs. Its very satisfying. :D
And surprise,surprise, we bumped into his ex-gf in the bus last friday? Whoah.Anyways, it was really hillarious(inserts inside joke here) and we kinda exchanged hie(s) and Arman quickly ended the brief conversation.

oh wells.wish granted.
tired eyes.
speed demon.

2009-04-19T14:37:00.003+08:00

I've been staying up till late for almost 2 weeks now and you can imagine how physically and mentally drained i am. I need my sleep. i need my sleep. i need my sleep. Once im done with essay,tat's the end of mayhem. So,im gonna coax myself that this time, im writing a 3000 words blog entry so that it'll be a breeze for me. And the sooner I'm done with this shit, the sooner I can start paying attnention to the mess around me. My whole room is screaming for a spring clean. And my my whole body is screaming for the bed while my heart is screaming for my boyfriend. Its been too long. way too long.. we've not had a proper day out since god knows when.

I miss you.so badly.

2009-04-11T23:03:00.000+08:00

Dear Bunny,

I miss you dearly.

Love,
Your other half.

2009-04-02T00:20:00.003+08:00

Sometimes you hurt me alot more than other people out there. Your actions and the words tat you blurted out of a sudden can actually score a scar deep enough to leave me effed up the whole day. When you pulled your hand away for no reason and when your eyes just stop transfixing itself on mine, seriously hurts me alot. Am i too ugly to looked at? I mean seriously,when did you start doing this to someone whom you are soo afraid of losing?

2009-03-31T01:23:00.003+08:00

I wish I am more resistant towards tiredness. The projects are killing me. I've been thinking alot lately. I was thinking of expanding my creativity outside Singapore. I was thinking of going to places in NatGeoAdventure channel. My desire to explore the other side of the world is soo unbearable. I was thinking of forming a political movement against cutting down trees, clearing poverty and saving child slavery. Hah.. I went too far, but I know someday, something like that will happen. I was thinking of bringing my art to another level. I was thinking of selling my artwork in the next Arts Bazaar in school. I was just so moved and inspired by the kind of artwork the students in my school created. They were fresh and definitely worth buying.

I could see myself in a white painted room in the future. Each wall filled with art of different forms. I want a pink corner. With bold black and white letterings, like a mega collage of magazine cut outs. Buy paitings from the fine arts students and feature their works in my bedroom sized gallery. I also want a fair share of greens and life. If I could afford a butterfly sanctuary, I'll gladly do so. I would want a garden of my own, where the big strong tree spread its majestic arms, protecting me from the direct sun. I'll lay down candles all around and light them up at night and kiss my soulmate, while submerging with the sound of crickets and life as natural as it is.

Sometimes,I do hate for thinking too much.Analyzing every single detail that never really matters to me until I became a sick analytic mind bomb. I blame it on art itself. In a good way of course. Because art pushes the boundary of your everyday thinking and gives you a whole new perspective. Yah yah. call me arty farty. But im not really. I just happen to think further than usual. Ive been submerging myself with god's best creation. Nature itself. And i do thank him for the pair of eyes,eventhough suffering from myopio and astigmatism, Im still able to feast on the wonders of your clouds, skies, glistering sun and the whole eco-system.

Anyways..the bed is calling me now.. And these tired eyes will be the same ones watching you wake up every day. :) Gotta go and not keep her waiting..

Xoxo

2009-03-29T22:11:00.001+08:00

My hate for the government dogs built up even more when they stepped in my house. Bullshitting away with the facts of law and shiznitts. You dont scare me.

2009-03-17T19:25:00.002+08:00

mak kau peh laki.

2009-03-17T00:22:00.002+08:00

Subways footlong.
Happy hours.
Tom Yam Soup with Rice (power gila babi)
Nasi padang
Guitar Hero
Battlefield
Red Alert 3
and tons and tons of Love Bunny... :D

YAY! Arman! Wake up!! you're supposed to be in jamming right now!!!!!!

and im sick. yet again.

2009-03-12T00:07:00.002+08:00

The man himself. Fach. Eh dude. You gotta help me come out with the title for this documentary.

23265 misses to the one i love.

2009-03-10T02:29:00.003+08:00

Its 230am and Im sleepy as hell but I feel that I should just update some shits up.
Anyways.. I'm done with my documentary. HIP HIP HOORAY! and I would like to extend my gratitude to first of all,

FACH- for letting me document your life, your skateboarding and I am so sorry if i've pressurized you too much during the interviews. But you like the set on Friday night right?!! HAHHA. lampu kelap kelip pon works. haha

IAN- for being one of the BEST Assistant Director I've ever had. You are on my good books of production and I will constantly book you for future projects. Seriously, you're just burst with positive aura and you make everything bad seems fine.. thank you so so much..

HUDA- for standing in as my boom operator. You're such a darling and a fast learner. And I'm so sorry if your legs and hands got really tired from doing that but it was a job well done for a first timer. And thank you for the food and recipe!! :D:D

ARMAN- for helping me out with the scheduling and hospitality over the night. Did you stare at me while I was sleeping just like Edward did to Bella? haahah. thank you bunny boo for the advices and extra help that I needed.

And of course to my SICK CREW. literally and non-literally.
I wish RENA and JASON will get well soon and go get some good rest..Thank you soo much..
and also my worthy DP, JIHAH, for taking the perfect shots and for all the outburst that I needed to de-stress myself.

And also to RYIOT. Thank you skater dudes for helping out one way or another.

I am glad that I'm done. Now, here comes the bitchy part of post-production. Oh wells. I'll put that at the back of my head for now and sleep.

I bet I cant wake up on time tmr. HAHA.

2009-03-06T00:05:00.003+08:00

It's raining heavily outside and I'm home alone, trying to organize things while munching on choco mini peppermints. I think this chocolate will be my 2nd favourite chocolate. Cuz its minty and it only cost $1. HAHAha.

Anyways.. technically, today is the starting of MAYHEM. hahaha. I'm starting my shoot this afternoon and even before everything starts, shits happened. So.. keeping my prayers ongoing..hoping that production will go on smoothly and may god have mercy on the weather. I know I should be sleeping now.. but I'm just too excited boud the documentary and I'm actually glue-ing up all the questions that I'm gonna ask Fach later.

I swear, I'll make my crew skate at the end of the day. :D Anyways, pitching session is over and sadly my story didnt get selected.. damn. But not to worry. I still have next year's pitching session to score. hopefully. haha.

And . I still havent decide on the title for this documentary.
Come on brain. Think!

2009-03-04T21:37:00.003+08:00

Things that i need to buy TOMORROW:

TAPES.
BLACK DRAPES.

Things that i need to bring TOMORROW:

MY PITCH
DRESS FOR TRAVIUS

Things that i need to do TOMORROW:

MEETING
PRINT OUT CALL SHEETS
CONFIRM TRANSPORTATION
GET THE FUCKING BOARD

Things that i need to do NOW:

SHIT
FINISH UP SWEE SAN'S WORK
EMAIL CALL SHEET
SHIT

TAT'S IT. Sue. You better don't forget or else,kill yourself.

oh. "WELCOME ABROAD!" :D :D
i love you Sya! Thanks for this great opportunity. Now, i am positive that i'll soon be dudes with FOB. :D:D

2009-02-25T23:46:00.008+08:00

Im leaving on Friday but yet I've not packed my bags.
The roaring thunder.. the heavy rain.. sigh..

I hope we'll stay stronger each day..
I never ever wanna lose you.

bunny.. do you still remember the song that you put on repeat the first time you went to K.L on your own after that gig?...
"for whats it's worth.. i love you
and what is worse i really do.."

I miss you even more...
my cocoa pops.chocolatey bunny man, you need to be nicer to me.
please.. i love you and i dont ever want to change that feeling.

put that necklace back on me on a Wednesday. I'll miss you.

2009-02-24T23:59:00.004+08:00

I love it when I work around the clock doing the things that I do best. I've a good feeling boud this.
And it keeps me on my toes constantly.
Brain works.

hahaha.
I hope we all get to pull this off together. In the name of film and skateboarding. YEAH!
hahah..
and shit. i just remembered that I have a gig poster to submit by March. :S

This Friday I'll be off to Batam for Aini's documentary. Its gonna be fun. Really really looking forward to it and..finally.. we've got strong ground works going on for mine. So Im pretty stoked.

gotta catch some forty winks and meet my love tmr.. tmr will be fun.silly pink bunnies hopping around on Flip.

2009-02-21T13:24:00.003+08:00

i wanna blog about soo much stuffs. depressing stuffs. but i cant cuz everywhere i go, i read ppl's entry boud how sad their life is and how the world is turning its back against everybody.

so. im gonna make a point to blog about happy-happy rainbow sparkles entries to cheer all my babes up. so, as for starters. The bed bug issues is driving my whole family crazy. We basically have to squeeze in my tiny room everynight because the other room is "OUT OF BOUNDS". Trying to quarantine the room so tat the bedbugs won't spread across the whole house.

So,last night, i went over to my gran's place and had the luxury of sleeping on a queen sized bed all to myself, while watching Lords of Dogtown and fell asleep half way while watching Annie Hall.

My idiotic brother just called me and he didnt say anything. I bet he accidentally dialed my no. AGAIN. there's such thing as KEYPAD LOCK.

I got phonecalls as early as 9am just now. SO pissed off. its freaking Saturday man. Come on..

And.. wat else. oh.. i feel so so lethargic and its already 1.36pm and im not making an effort to get myself a real nice shower..and the more I read New Moon. (stop rolling your eyes) the more my lesbian crush grows for Bella.. omg..Kristen Stewart, you are so goddamn hot.. i wish i look like you. i swear.

And as eyes travels across each lines, the visualizations in my head goes crazier. Now,i have a feeling tat Arman is a vampire who's dying to suck on my sweet smelling blood. He does anyway,eventhough he's not a vampire. Hahaha.

A little update. im quite depressed that Fall Out Boy didnt return my mail.

Hah. who am i kidding. i bet they have tonns of stupid screaming groupie mails to reply. -_-

And im getting pissed already with my brother. This is the freaking 4th time, that he's giving me accidental calls. STUPID.

YOu know what. i think i have the solution to ease my anxiety. Retail Theraphy.

HAHAHA. YAY.GST MONEY. that is one of the perks of being old. (i am hinting to my young friends, Rena and Jihah :D)

And one of the reasons why my heart is constantly not an ease is because...............

imissarmansobadlyiswearicandiecryingoveryou. :(

2009-02-17T23:38:00.000+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S4YbC6OLAlo

THAT VID WILL MAKE YOU LAUGH NON-STOP.

HAHAHA!

2009-02-16T22:12:00.001+08:00

oh you fucked up two face bitch!

no one in particular
im just worked up watching an Indonesian drama series.
fucking amaliah.

hmph.

2009-02-15T16:21:00.003+08:00

I am so trying to finish up my essay. Correction. I am still trying to start on my essay but unfortunately, some thoughtful neighbour just couldn't stop wailing on the karaoke set with her oh oh so awful voice.

I am now blasting to Folie a Deux so loudly. That I found myself accidentally writing the lyrics rather than my essay. haha.doofus.

omg.
can you shut up already!!!!!!!!

fyi.
She is singing, "BOLA BOLA API"
*ball-ball fire. FIRED!"

diam ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

2009-02-11T23:45:00.004+08:00

THIS IS FUCKING SUREEAL.

CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!? I ACTUALLY GET TO MEET PATRICK STUMP IN PERSON JUST NOW AT LITTLE INDIA. WITH NO ONE RUNNING AFTER THEM EXCEPT FOR ME AND JIHAH?

OMFG.
OMFG..

2009-02-11T11:35:00.005+08:00

FOB BLEW ME AWAY!!!! OMG. THEY WERE SO UH-FUCKING AWWWEESOMMMEEEE!!!

The line was crazy and I pulled Arman's hand and ran into the arena as we got through the security checks. haha! And the opening band,Hey Monday. Omg. She is like a carbon copy of Hayley Williams and lucky Arman got to meet Taya right infront of his eyes. She was just walking pass us.
She's like so petit. hahaha..

And then FOB came out and I was screaming my lungs out! OMG. I swear I can faint. We had a betting session before the show starts. Me and Arman were betting on what he'll be wearing. Arman said, he'll be wearing a shirt and i said t-shirt. And I won! Fuck. He look just like 2005. Tshirt,jeans and trucker cap.

And and me and jihah were betting on the first song that they will play. I bet on America's Suithearts and she bet on Sugar We're Going Down. And we lose. They played Thanks for The Memories. HAHAHA. tat means, no nasi ayam for either of us.

Joe's hair was so crazy and he was just so so fucking awesome!!!!
Pete is ever irritating but he was a good sport cuz he fucking jumped off from the stage into the crowd during the last song. And while everyone swarmed towards him, me and Arman ran to the front and had a good look of PATRICK!!!

OMG!!!! I fucking swear this whole experience was so fucking surreal. It totally mind fucked me. And I was sleeping,still thinking tat I was at the concert. And when they played Sugar We're Going Down and Grand Theft Autumn, me and Arman just got EXTRA EXCITED cuz It was like OUR song.. And Arman was so sweet and cute when we sang along. ;D

I thought I'll lose my voice.. but it seems quite okay. for now. haha!

FOB was and is still DA SHIET.
Love them forever. and I cant fucking wait for them to come again perhaps another year or 2 years down the road.

Oh! I also finally got my Fall Out Boy tshirt after 4 years. haha. Arman owe me tat tshirt since we were still friends, cuz he promised to buy it for me when I turned 18. Thank you Bunny Boo!
You're still my No. 1 besides Patrick. heeee.. i swear i swear!! :D

and I totally regret not bringing my fucking camera.

Yes yes.. i know i sounded like just another freaking young bimbotic groupie in this entry.. lol.
I'm turning 22 and its only once in awhile I get to feel young like this again. haha.

OMG...!!!! FALL OUT BOY..!!! YOU FUCKING RAWKKK!!
LoL!

2009-02-10T00:16:00.003+08:00

Burning the midnight oil yet again.. after weeks of endless unforseen events.
I am so not getting any rest.

Let's just try to finish up watever i can tonight. The day has arrive!! 10TH FEBRUARY 2- DOUBLE-NINE. I AM FINALLY MEETING MY LOVER.

PATRICK STUMPP!!!!! WOOOOOO!!! *flash boobs*
Tonight will be the night, where Arman will feel neglected. haha.
Eleh.. check2 dia pon go crazy over Patrick... hahahahahhhhhha!

Got great news from the hospital. Yayi is off the tubes and he can finally eat like normal. He was requesting for chappati,sambal goreng. heeehee..
And he's slowly talking sense now.. allhamdulilah... :)

2009-02-09T00:35:00.004+08:00

Been too emotionally drained..
my body is screaming for sleep..

but my Yayi is fighting for his life.
Right after we were done for the kenduri arwah,my yayi got admitted to the hospital..

it is really saddening when at times, he doesn't recognize you anymore.. he'll get fits..and start talking jibberish..and its even harder for him cuz he know what he wants but its just that the message that is being sent out from his brain through his verbal nerves have gone haywire. He would pick one word from a conversation and use it through out the whole day. And we have to decode what he's trying to say everytime.

For example, the other time, we kept saying hospital and that word was registered in his brain. Thus, hospital has many meanings to him. A watch can mean hospital, the fan,his spectacles,the mattress,the pillow,anything is "hospital".

It cuts me real deep seeing him this way.
I miss him calling out my name everytime I go over his place.
And there will always be one question that he will keep asking everytime I visit them.

"Gegerl bila nak kahwin?!"
"Tak bagus tau kahwin lambat-lambat. "

and my answer will always be the same.
"Chill lah.. belum habes skolah..27 boleh kahwin."

And I'll get scolded after that.:)
Everytime he sees me,he'll ask that question.
And now.. I miss hearing all those words coming out from him.. :(

He had just totally lost any sense in whatever he is doing.
And the other time, when the nurses tried to put in the tube in his nose, and in his wrist. He plucked out all the tubes and blood splattered everywhere.

Now,he's strapped on the bed like some kind of animal.
Ya allah.. tell me. Which kind of human being can stand looking at his grandfather on the bed, strapped on both hands, not being able to even get up cuz he is just soo soo weak and all he kept saying for the past few days were, "go home. go home. i want to go home.."

I've been trying my best to keep myself strong..but sometimes..my heart just feel soo soo heavy. and all i need is to stop choking on my tears and let everything out..

I miss Yayi alot...
Yayi.. cepat sembuh..gegerl nak tgk yayi pakai songkok putih yang yayi selalu pakai. Gegerl nak dengar yayi tanya gegerl macam mana nak check miss call kat hp..Gegerl nak yayi balik.. please...
gerl nak yayi......

2009-02-01T20:04:00.003+08:00

Bismillah..

The last day of January.. was the last time my grandmother blew out her last breath on this earth.
Semoga Allah mencucuri roh Nenek dan gegerl doakan semoga Nenek didudukkan dalam golongan orang-orang yang beriman dalam Syurga dan semoga nenek dijauhkan dari azab api neraka dan siksaan kubur.. You'll be missed Nek Mon.....and I'm honoured and thankful to be by your side during your last few moments...Gegerl rindu nenek...

Selalu dalam ingatan ku.....

Amin..

2009-01-29T01:33:00.003+08:00

I've just finished writing 2 stories under 2 hours.
Seriously mind fucked.

I like this new screenwriting that I just came up with.
I'm calling it MELUR. :)
I'm so inspired now. hopefully, I can turn this into a featured film one day.

Got to sleep now.
Bunnyimissyoubabysquidly. :)

2009-01-25T22:59:00.001+08:00

Seriously,this is getting onto my nerves.
Where the F are you?.

call or text if you read this shit.

2009-01-22T23:40:00.002+08:00

Went over to his place after class and Mama Nyot and I had one of the best conversations ever.
With the arrival of his mom at 5pm,she joined us at the dining table and *Poof*. It was even saucier than before.. :)

For the past 2 weeks,I've been spending alot of time with his family,last week were the major eat outs on Friday and Saturday..
And this week, its the barbeque thingy.
It just feels welcoming whenever I'm around them. heee... despite some pressuring moments last week. It was all well..heeehheee..

Arman's 22nd birthday last year. Just resized them after donkey months.
Mensus is back again.
Being a bitch to me as usual.
Laters...
The most decent and proper picture

I swear Ayah Zack was wayy excited than he was that day. hahaha.

2009-01-21T00:04:00.005+08:00

It has become accustomed to me when my body clock shuts down and I start working non-stop. I know I've not been having proper sleep since last week but yet, my eyes are still wide open, editing in the cold ass classroom till 10 and now back home, doing my presentation for tmr, cracking up ideas for the upcoming solo project and still thinking of a storyline to be email-ed to Chuet and screenwriting sigh...................................

I know I am tired. But yet I dont feel it. I know I'm sleepy, but yet I'm still wide awake. And now I'm getting excited discussing bout a topic over on msn with Ian. No. He is more excited than I am cuz soon he's gonna be a "Hollywood Star". lol!

Hmm..Ive been having problems with digestion. It seems that these days,whatever that I eat,it'll take at least a day or sometimes 2 days for it to come out. And that is not good. I feel heavier now. I want to be skinny again. I mean, for the fact that I already am, but I noticed that I've been going wider and wider and that sucks.

I still cant fit into the perfect fitted jeans. And I feel..yet again.. heavy.. :*( im depressed now. I know I sound shallow and friends out there will go like this, "WTH!! COME ON Ah SUE! YOU'RE DAMN ASS SKINNY LAH!!! IM LIKE FATTER THAN YOU SIAK SUE!"

wei..skinny was like fucking 4 years ago eh. now. not any more sia..
have you guys noticed my hips? my wide hips? my thighs?! thunder thighs! bulging tummy! and the boobs! dont mention them. Arman is damn lucky to have them on me ah. And everything adds up to me being sooo self-conscious bout how I look and that ain't good cuz I was never shallow like that. But then again, you gotta excuse some bimbo moments right? haha.

2009-01-19T22:10:00.001+08:00

Pok pok ppk..jiha bapok..pakai skirt tapi ade rokok.
Jalan jalan buah kecot..
Mintak jantan suruh sedot..
Jihaaaaaa bapoooook.......

Nak tahu mcm mane nak nyanyi?
Call kak sue k?

lol!
and Ji, thanks eh. Nampak orang jatuh, abes bukan nak tolong. Kau ketawakan aku lagi ade. baasssstttaaaaarrrddddd.................!!!

Huhuhuhu...i miss Arman baby squidly.... :(
Didi... i miss you too....
My PRECIOUS BED.... i miss you even MORE-R!!!............. :((((((((((

2009-01-14T22:50:00.003+08:00

I am missing my other precious half so so badly.. I still wish that I could teleport and end up falling off from your ceiling and right onto you.. We'll catch up with each other under blankets of laughters and love.. gosh.. I miss you terribly... :(

I am counting down to the weekends....
school is being a mega bitch to me..
ALAN!! WO AI NI!!!!!! WO MISS YOU HORRR!!! ;p

2009-01-09T23:44:00.003+08:00

It is just too tempting to skip morning class tmr.. :) heee.. dum di dum di dum...

2009-01-09T20:57:00.001+08:00

I ate too much today and I feel so sick right now.
I need to digest all thats inside and let everything out so that I can have my stomach ready for tmr's party.

hahaha..

damn.
something's bothering me real bad.

but anyways, Left 4 Dead is the shiet.

2009-01-09T01:34:00.000+08:00

when you see this, you know you're gonna regret last night.

2009-01-07T23:01:00.001+08:00

Its funny how things can take a turn and totally change the way how you perceive things.. I'm glad it happened. :)

2009-01-04T22:32:00.000+08:00

at least there's something exciting to look out for 2009.
FALL OUT BOY IS COMING TO TOWN!! and you've guessed it. I AM SOO GOING TO MEET MY 2ND BOYFRIEND. Patrick Stump!!! sayang ku!!!

2009-01-03T00:19:00.004+08:00

A new year. Another round of bullshits.
Why am I dreading school so much? This cycle never stops.

2008-12-23T12:43:00.003+08:00

You put on too much make up
By the time you reach 20
you aint seeing your natural beauty anymore

You wear clothes
like you wear identity that was never meant to be

Your boobs spill like hills of Timah
They arent worth showing off

Your upbringing is disgraceful
With a mother so stuck up and boastful

When he skates,you skate.
When he hardcore,you hardcore
When he eat shit,I'll gladly see you eating shit.

Ive been trying to look out for you
But babe,you are too much of a burden
who only thinks highly of yourself

Here's a thing or two that you need to learn from wiser me.

First.
Be humble.

Second.
Do not grow up being rude to the elderlies like your parents did.

Third.
You're old enough to think what is right and wrong. Do not regret making the same mistakes that I did.

If you think this is hate.
Think again.
Im just looking out for you as a sister,that you sadly never regard me as one.

P.S. I would gladly love it if you take your time to improve on your english rather than your fake-ness.

2008-12-23T00:59:00.003+08:00

Assalamulaikum

Saya harap kamu semua baik-baik belaka.
Anyways,its almost 1 a.m and I'm munching away happily on a double cheeseburger, knowing I will puke it out like in 2 hours time or so?

And. I dont know why I'm so sick.I really need to get well before I head off to Batam for my escapade. 3 days in Batam. Wah shiok ah!! Eat and live life like the rich and famous. huahua.

Okay. So I just got invited by my brother to watch a scary movie. He peered at the doorway and went like this. "Psst.Citer hantu." Nak step cute ajer.
I remembered many times when I scared the shit out of him everytime he got home late. I will quickly switch off the monitor screen as soon as I hear him at the doorstep. (fyi, i ALWAYS type in the dark) and just stand at the doorway infront of my room.

There was once, he swing the door open and he literally screamed when he saw me just standing there. HAHAHAHA.
Its very funny seeing one's reaction upon getting scared.
And then, I decided it wasnt funny anymore when I started listening to Mystery Jam 12. There was this dude,who love to scare his sister,because she knocks off from work real late.
So, there was one night,when he heard her coming towards the house. He quickly get off the sofa,and squat just behind the door, waiting to scare her.

Then,he heard the chingling of her keys but there was a certain smell so strong. He just squatted there and then just when he turned his head, that motherfucking "woman"
was besdie him squatting down too. And he fainted.

He was then awaken by his sister,who got home at a much later time.
SO,the person outside the house wasnt her sister and neither was the babe who was beside him.

What a fucked up encounter huh?

hahaha.
I definately dont want that to happen to me. That's CRRAZZY.

anyways.my back is screaming for mercy. and im hoping my mom will apply for the medical insurance real soon so that i can go meet a specialist. sigh.. the ageing effects..

:(

2008-12-20T23:26:00.003+08:00

its been 3 days now, I've been sick. Still no one cares.
I couldn't even get out of bed just now, still no one cares.
I was fighting with the worst menstrual pain in my whole entire life, I wanted to get up but I couldn't. I was hungry and thirsty but yet my throat refused to swallow anything. I puke out bread.
The pain was so unbearable, I was literally punching my stomach to make the pain go.

I asked for help.
A simple task to go down and help me get pills and porridge
and that was too fucking difficult for you.

TIger balm made me feel abit better.
Too weak to even answer my phone or pull the pillow up.
I struggled to the kitchen on my own, and all they did was just carry on with their sick ignorant lives.

The boiling water scalded my palms as I pressed the cloth on my stomach.
Slowly..

slowly..

Slowly......now..

i fell into a deep sleep where I wish I didnt have to wake up and face the day.

thanks.bitches.

2008-12-18T22:34:00.005+08:00

Decode (Acoustic Version) - Paramore

Twilight fever is still on.. and I still get the chills everytime I hear this song. Arman watched Twilight before we watched it together last Tuesday and he told me that the movie reminds him of us.

And now I know why. :)
*huggs*

Flowers don't usually sustain more than 3 days,but these stretched till a whole week.

Three words. Eight letters. One name beating in my heart.
I cant help but feel so mellow.. :)

2008-12-18T00:57:00.004+08:00

"Ellysha, tulis big letter T"
"Big letter tu ape? Catipal letter kan?"
*giggles* "No.. Capital.Not Catipal."
"Catipal."
"No.. Ellysha, tengok kak sue. Say, "CA"
"Ca.."
"PI"
"Pi..."
"TAL"
"Tal!"
"Capital."
"CATIPAL!"

"hahahahahahha!!"
And she smiles widely from ear to ear. I swear she's cute.

Monday, he got off from reservist. Like WEE!! finally!
And I dont know what I did, it was soo difficult to get up. It was already nearing 1pm and I was still stuck to my bed. Text-ed Nana and asked if the cooking plan was still on and she immediately called me and persuaded me to get up and get my ass to Yishun soon. And so I did. Like 2 hours later. HAHA.

Waited for her and told me that her dad will be there too. Nana is one lucky girl. She gets anything that she asked for. And then met up with Arman's mom too and the 4 of us ate at Sakura. Was kinda paisey cuz his dad is treating me to a huge ass amount of food which cost $80 in all and I got soo full after that. We had a debate about the desert menu and it was very very funny. Arman then called me in, worried and asked where I was and he was surprised when I told him that I'm having a scrumptious meal at Sakura with his parents and sister and he should have been here. hahha..

We then headed home,and I was soo elated to see Arman waiting at the doorstep. If only his family weren't there, I would have hugged and kissed him soo bad..hahah! Fantasies aside, we did our tuna pasta within minutes and I was too full from dinner, I couldnt even face the food. Every whiff of pasta just made me one step closer to puking.

Tuesday,we watched Twilight and its the BomB!!!!!

"I know what you are."
"Say it..Say it out loud!"
"...Vampire.."
"Are you afraid?"
"No.."

LOL! I kept repeating those lines over and over again and that had caused me some bruises on my arms and tickle frenzies on our bus ride home. I swear he is so hot. The boy who acted as Cedric in Harry Potter,who freaking died during the Triwizard Tournament has turned so amazingly hot and deliciously sexy within years.. oh mah gawdddddd............... *bimbo alert*

We had a great time and Im just counting down to the days for our next meet up..I miss you rike crazy horrrr...!!

Wednesday was Boobs Day. Met up with my long lost Boob partner, aka. Gullible Bimbo in disguise. shit. she's gonna kill me if she sees this and we finally catch up on lost time. Thank GOd you've quit that damn job !!! Tat's the way to go woman! Liberate yourself!! Woooo!!

We headed to TAKA .. no dammit. not the shopping mall but the jewellry store and collected her ring.and YES that bitch is engaged!! Gah!!! SO SO HAPPY FOR HER!!! and it will be a reminder to us to how much older we are getting as every minute ticks by. I cant wait to sebok-sebok in your room and scold the mak andam for not letting me near you. hahaha! and no.. no kuda-kepang for your wedding ah..lol!
We talked alot over dinner and after that, I became the MOST DEPRESSED WOMAN in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD.

reason being. I could no longer fit into size 28 anymore!!!! dumbassfucafklda! I couldnt fit into the jeans tat i was trying.. I mean it hits you so bad when you put on your jeans.. one leg in.. and the next one.. you slide it up..and it perfectly hugs the shape of your legs and then when you get higher,it takes the shape of your hips so well and then POOM!! YOU CANT FUCKING ZIP IT UP!!!!!

it took half an hour for us to analyze the problem. Didi said I wasnt getting any fatter cuz Im still skinny as ever. (that was what she claimed) And the reason why I couldnt fit in because the cutting wasnt for me. Since, I tried the jeans at some cheap ass shop, it cuts for China people because the crotch is soo long, and she concluded that they need the extra room to hide their bushes. And since Our chinese sisters have leaner hips, the cut does not compliment our malay wide ass hips.

ok. noted.

but I'm still gonna be vegan for a week. Just to cut off from the midnite meals. MEALS. not snacks ah. and to cut off from whatever nonsense that I love to munch since the starting of my hols. Im gonna climb up the stairs instead of taking the lift and I'll eat 3 meals a day and nothing more than that.

hah.who am i kidding?

2008-12-08T23:21:00.009+08:00

It's been a long while since we spent this much time on each other. 2 days in a row hanging out with you was all I could ever asked for. We were talking on the phone at about 10am and we couldnt help missing each other and decided to meet up randomly, knowing that he just got home and still need to get his sleep before he goes to work again at 6pm. and guess what? he eventually couldnt wake up and go to work. -_-

Saturday was even fun cuz we went to ECP and went from one food place to another. We started off with Subway and then to a Turkish restraunt and then to Gelare for deserts and We ended our day with New Zealand's rootbeer float. I dont know why I still felt so hungry after so much food. Tak baca bismillah lah nie.. hahaha. And I swear the stupid toy machines with the pinchers are very addictive. We popped a dollar in one of those machines, and we wasted 5 bucks in all. idiot. And I saw another booth, where you just had to throw the ball and they'll count the numbers and you'll get your prize after tat. Yeah, its damn easy cuz i was aiming at this Big Blue Bear and what I got was a counterfeit Transformer sneakers that can magically turn into some mean eating machine. -____________-

We stood still in the midst of all the commotion

and let the waves played peek-a-boo with our feets.

Hands held,tongues tied.

As we watched the sunset on the horizon.

And then 3 days of being missing. Drove up to J.B on a really short notice and stayed over at my aunt's place and celebrated our HariRaya. We had a feast down there and while I was out driving my mom's car illegally, a stupid patrol car just had to pop up out from nowhere and it scared the shit out of me. After it drove off, my brother and I quickly switched places and headed back to the house. HAHA. Sigh.. Arman's away for reservist now and I miss him too much.Kept tearing in my sleep as I replayed our videos we recently took over and over again. Im still shocked that he gave me 40 freaking msgs while I was away to J.B. Boo..4 more days to go.. fuck....

2008-11-23T21:48:00.004+08:00

Aizan and I had a rather amusing conversation last night on msn. And oh btw, this was the group photo where you should be in. haha. Anyways,I was giving him all the well wishes to his lasting relationship with Belle and he said back the same thing too to me. He was saying something like, "i wish you last with Arman until the day I see you guys on the dais." aww.. :) And I told him that I'll have a dress code on my wedding day. Everyone should wear something Indonesian. Batik and Kebaya. NOT Kebaya with LEGGINGS or SKINNY JEANS or worst, HOT PANTS. just what the fuck. Some jokers had to turned up wearing that on my cousin's wedding a few week's back and I was very furious. Come on lah. This is not Mahligai Manis or Silver Tortoise or Town siak. Its a fucking wedding u brainless fools. -_-

Back to the 'fantasy' wedding.haha. I swear my theme is gonna be TYPICAL JAVENESE. The batik, the gamelans and NO KUDA KEPANG. sorry hor. the kuda kepang these days are filled with deluded satanic people and I know if I do have Kuda kepang on my wedding, my bridesmaid will be the 1st person to run away with her 3 inch heels. Been there,done that. I don't wish her to run at the back of the kitchen crying like a baby .hahaha. No name shall be mentioned. Your identity is well sealed. :)

And food,food,glorious food. I want the most spiciest and delicious ayam lemak cili padi to be served..hehe. . WAduh waduh..Enak banget.

And sigh.. yeah.. everything so traditional. My family will be very very pleased especially my Yayi. An on occassions, I'll have them play keronchong on the stereo, a little bit of Roma Irama. Dammit.haha. NO wailing horrendous voices trying to hit the note. no no. None of that. And there's candles and batik all over.. sweet smelling roses..not red ones.. light pink.. or perhaps white.. And I'll wear the traditional Blankung,sitting gracefully, waiting for Mr Arman to pop up,deck with his batik shiznitts.. and the funny hat. I forgot wat its called..

Now. Imagine Arman wearing this.

HAHA!

sigh....

6 freaking years to go.

dammit.

2008-11-12T21:39:00.003+08:00

I'm keeping my spirits high for the coming semester break. Come on beeyotch. Few more days and you're fucking done. hahaha!!

WEEEE!!!!!!
I'm SEXCITED!!! =D =D

I'm still left with production,essay,storyboard and photography. ohhh.. crap. tat's still alot.shit. fuck it. Im just soo looking forward for holidays, I'm gonna do everything by tonight. Ambitious huh? Hell yeah. I can make it through those leftovers!

I'll ask Ap for help in my storyboard.haha. I know I've been asking too many favours recently.. help me buy food cuz i just cant get my ass off the chair in the editing room for 5 days in a row.. help me print out my scripts cuz the printer JUST HAD TO DIE one ME. Accompanying for lunch breaks and bla bla bla. I swear I'll buy you a meal if you help me draw my storyboard!! =D

I thank Allah for the rezeki that stumbled on me yesterday. Thank you. Now, I purely believe that miracles happen. :) And friends like Nooraini and ALyza are the rarest kind that you can ever get. :)

Rena.thank you for the laughters and shiznitts just now and Yah! WTF. 3 times man! 3 fucking times! HAHA.retard.

and Jihah Baby. get back to us soon. We are all worried for you..

2008-11-06T14:04:00.002+08:00

sigh.. this bloody joke beside me is making me laugh non stop and she's playing with her knees and pretend that its her cleavage. (sorry ah sis yang tahu spell. ;p)

have u guys wondered how it will be like having your pee stuck in ur bladder for 3 days and when finally you get to release it, you will be spending 30 minutes of your life emptying your bladder.

nvm.its a random question because basically all our minds are fried due to sleepless nights and endless stooopid projects. 1 more week. 1 more week. 1 more week. balls. we are staying till 11pm everyday to finish our Autobio. "Fuck schoooooooool.!" cleverly said by my cousin.

Happy 15th months to us. HIP HIP HOORAY!
and thank you for being sucha sweetheart last night. :)

Can i ask you guys another question? How do you pronounce this word "dtk" ?
HHAHAHA.
dammit. we are cracking up like fuck"dtk"

i can never describe to you what's going on right now cuz she's making me laugh non stop.

2008-10-31T00:02:00.002+08:00

Smitten.

I love you more as each day passes.

2008-10-25T11:29:00.002+08:00

you're a mess. you've messed up your life. you've messed up her life. you've messed up everything that comes along.

why are you even here?
you should be the one lying on the hospital bed waiting for your world to end because you deserve it. not her.

god. take it away from her and replace her with me. i'm ready for this eventhough everythings at risk. but who the fuck cares because i know she'll lead a better future than me. do it. now. just take it away from her..please..

let me be the one who have to go through this.
i'm ready to give up..

2008-10-23T23:03:00.005+08:00

(and nope I wasn't smoking. sheesh.)

It's a horrible routine..Wake up at 7a.m and get out of the house by 8. Reach school in an hour's time and it drags all the way to 11pm. And then I'll find myself dragging to school the next day.. the day after the next day..after the next next day.. it goes on and on and I'm not making sense cuz my brain is too fried to think about anything.

My eyesight is deteriorating due to long hours staring at the screen,my hair transforms into a bundle of mess,face gets oily,eyeliner ruined.clothes wrinkled..butt aches thanks to the uncomfortable seats and sometimes killer air-conditioning which just makes you go bonkers. And we have a particular lecturer who's very unprofessional. Thank god we only have her on Thursdays. Besides that, I am really just complaining about my fucked up timetable.

I want to take a break from everything, but everytime I try to do so, even by just putting my head on the desk, I'll get this restless sleep and starts having nightmares. Why? Because the workload is getting more and more and how can you sleep in peace when you haven't finish these:

1) 1500-2000 words Academic Essay about Film Movement.
2) Editing on Autobiography.
3) Editing on fucking 'YELLOW'.
4) Photoboard
5) Storyboard
WHAT ELSE?!!!

ahhhhhh! I'm not stressed or under pressure or whatever. I'm just TIRED. I can't function properly with the lack of sleep.

I was soo tired I couldn't even shit, take my bag out of the car and other little things that requires no effort at all.

I feel like I have this 50 tonn of rice sack on my body, I'm so immobile and stonned, I feel like as if I can pass out anytime.

That's why Weekends are HEAVENLY to me.
I DEVOTE my time sleeping over the weekends. Its the only time i can recharge myself.

and you know what.
Its soo chilly down here, I'm walking around the house with my comforter, at the same time helping my Mom by sweeping the floor.

I wouldn't have on this bloody computer infront of me if I didn't have to check my school's email.

I really wish I could just jump on my bed everytime I reach home.. But reality is.. it's very impossible to do so when you have 101 things at the back of your head.

Good night.
And I MISS ARMAN ALOT. muacks!
I wish he's here to let me lie on his chest and put me to sleep....

2008-10-21T23:29:00.004+08:00

Arman's auntie gave birth to her 3rd child today at 1.52pm. hahaha.. I rushed from school to acompanny Nana and Tasha who had been waiting since 7.am.

Hello Daniel Hadi. ( i think that's how they want to spell your name. :))

He has Arman's nose and he made alot of funny cute noises when he's sleeping. I can't wait to get your hands in my mouth. hehehe.. =D

And the cute thing is tat he shares the same birthday as his grandma..

2008-10-15T01:01:00.004+08:00

Her colourful eyes glitters when she smiles.
Her contagious laughter filles up my everyday.

Greeted by a hug every morning.
Waking up to her calls on some days when I just couldn't get out of the bed.
5 miutes..10 minutes passed.

"Sue cheebai! where are you!?"
"I'm walking to the bustop already..sorry2"

I couldn't sleep for the past two nights. Thinking and getting really worried.
A text came.

Never know what happened over night until you broke the news.
I was stunned.
Dumbfounded.

I choked on my tears. Holding back as much as I can.
No way. No fucking way. Why you? Why now. Why must it even happen?

I couldnt take it.
I broke down immediately as soon as I got home.

You know the bus ride after school without you?
It left me thinking how's the future gonna be like.
The empty seat beside me was overwhelming.

No . You can't leave me alone.
You can NEVER leave me alone.
The heartache eats me up. Tears trickled down.

I didn't sit on the right side.
It was reserved for you.

I have to be stronger than this.
So you'll never feel weak around me.
I'll protect you like a sister.
I'll take care of you like a mother.
I'll be your strength that will take away your tears, your fears.

2nd stage.
This heart aches even more.
Do you know how fucking paranoid I am.
Do you know I wish I could tie a chain around you so I can pull you along wherever I go.

Im not that strong after all.
But I have to. For your sake. I have to because I know you can fight it.
Even if you've lost faith along the way, I want you to fucking FIGHT it.
Because I'll be YOUR faith. I'll be YOUR pillar of strength.

I'll keep every strand of your hair that falls apart.
I'll tell you that you look beautiful every day. Because you are. Inside out.
I'll wish you good night and sweet dreams everyday.
I'll tell you that I love you so fucking much.
So much more than you can ever imagine.

I love you..I love you.and I can't bare to lose you..
and we WILL get stuck together till we get the Degree in our hands.
I swear we will.
You have to believe me.

2008-10-07T13:51:00.004+08:00

Met up with my love this morning. It was the first time we ever meet up after he finished work. He looked so crappy and tired...I know it was really tempting for him to pinch me but I had sunburns all around.. haha.. thank god.

Our morning was spent beautifully with laughters,teasings,roti prata(s) and green tea... :)

Not until the part when I accidentally knocked my head so hard while I was boarding the taxi. grrr..

2008-09-24T22:07:00.002+08:00

1st day of shoot-

It was soo hectic and we had to run down to school again 10 minutes before shoot starts,realising that we only have have XLR cable for the mixer. sheesh.

And then,rehearsals with Ian and Shikin was so funny. I couldnt stop laughing when they kept saying a certain line.

Everything went smoothly soon after Rena and Jihah got back and our young star, Aisyah/Aishah (eh i dont know how to spell her name lah Ji) was sucha great actor. She is only 9 years old and she's soo adorable,we kept squeezing her hair and i kept pinching her.

We wrapped up everything by 6.30pm. and Got ready for buka. There were pizzas and kfc. hahha. food galore.

Thats my treat for you all ah!
hahaha!

and..now,i'm really really exhausted but very satisfied.
So Imma get my rest now and look forward for tomorrow! :D

2008-09-23T23:36:00.003+08:00

Tomorrow will be the start of my 2 day shoot for my first film.
I hope the shoot will go smoothly, Insya-Allah.

:)

Stay excited you guys.

2008-09-21T00:18:00.003+08:00

I realised that I'm getting too old to get involved with the conversations that some of my friends engaged in. =S

Anyways, I'm supposed to be done with my script but I had been myspacing,youtube-ing since just now.GAHH! I went through old videos of my former band and watched Obscure Phionix videos too cuz I know I get excited everytime they get on stage. And i found one video where I was the guest vocalist. hahhaha.. Omg. And Meow and I had short hair and look at us now. Long already. hahah.

Then,I watched gig videos that were shot at I.J. Omg. It was 2005 when we first performed there. I remembered the restricted space,the sweaty people and the smell. The Pole in the middle of the lift. The cheap drinks at Level 4. And the people back then was amazing. They'll headbang and get into the moshpit regardless of genre man.. They were soo real. Unlike the "scene" these days. ITs full of crap and cliques and crews and whatever. -_-

I bet if you go up to any of those band that lived through that time,they'll agree that I.J gave them the most gerek experience ever.

Haiyah..i miss it . alot..

2008-09-20T20:49:00.003+08:00

I am feeling rather bitchy and effed up right now. I know how much people had been stepping on my head. Better watch out cuz I've had enough.

Don't think I cant be as vicious as you just because I'm always quiet.
And people better start learning how to talk nicely. Don't be fucking rude just because you had a bad day or something is fucking you up or you think its funny to crack up a rude joke. Where's your fucking manners?

Dickhead.

2008-09-18T11:46:00.005+08:00

Back to square one. I dont feel like going to school these days cuz I am just too tired. And all i wanna do is finish up everything at home.

I realised that Ive not been updating myself with whatever that's going on with my friends. It made me feel left out. I really don't feel like meeting anyone or be around anyone right now. I think I should skip class and chill by myself tomorrow.

Sigh..
Only Nafrat is making me happy right now. Im getting their cd soon. Just waiting for Hanif to get online.. so yeah. That's about it.

2008-09-18T11:46:00.004+08:00

I had a blast on my 21st Birthday. Got home and almost everybody was there. so touching.. aww.. :) The cousins..and the aunties... :D

I know everyone's bugging for the pictures. Chill lah.. hahaha..

And, my bestriends and her gfs turned up when the party was over.HAHA. selenger kan! And they surprised me the most cuz I was already in the kitchen, washing the dishes and I look like some makcik. And suddenly, "Sue!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!"

Watt theeee!?!!

Shock of the night okay!!!!!!

hahahaha...cute kan korang! sayang you gfs banyak-banyak!

Nooraini was sucha bitch. She poured water from the flower pot thingy and I got totally wet. And Jihah,Alyza and Aini were so annoying cuz they were SOO well behaved. Padahal kat skolah.. god knoes.hahaha!

And yesterday, I went over to Arman's place. He didnt plan anything actually. No balloons,no cake,no candles,no flower. :( He forced me to come over. And i finally did cuz he promised me that he teach me how to skate.

Buka time. It was superb. I love the macaroni soup. So... comforting.:) And then I was summoned to his room cuz he had a bad headache and he needs my magical fingers.hahaha..rigght.. I kept bugging him to get up. And finally,he got dress and went out of the room. I sat at the edge of bed. Stoned. For whatever reason. Must be the food. I was too full and i was getting sleepy.

He asked me to follow him. As soon as I stepped out of the room, The living room went dark, his family gathered at the dining table with a candle-litted cake,singing me the birthday song.

I was so stunned, I stepped back in the room.hahaha! So paisey!!!! And his dad recorded all that was happening. hahahaa.. i was blushing like crazzzy! IT was soo sweet of them to surprise me cuz I really wasnt expecting anything...................heeeee.......

Got hugs and kisses from his mom,aunts and little cousins.. and they sang me Isabella for me.. hahah.. so cuteee..!

Seriously,THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR MAKING IT HAPPEN! I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO SAY BUT REALLY.. THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART! I LOVE YA!! =D

2008-09-15T21:58:00.008+08:00

After years of this holy crap mess of frizzy-ness.

I've finally transformed it to ..........

TADAA!!!

hhahahaa!!I skipped school and went to J.B to do my hair and do some more shopping. My mom just wanted to get the grocerries and baju kurung for my brother but she ended up buying 5 cushion, cushion covers,table runners and this padi-like plant for decoration. OMG. and i was telling her.

"This is not Tanjong Katong Complex Ibu. How to stuff all these in our itsy car?!
Moms.

I felt bad cuz I made them wait for 2 hours to get my hair done. I swear I was falling asleep when they were treating my hair. Oh yah. It was a hair treatment session. Not rebonding or whatever..sheesh.. the treatment was supposed to make my hair smoother and de-frizz all those irritating flyways.

It's so soft... i know. I'm very jakun. But I never had this kind of soft hair ever since I damaged it with multiple dye jobs and bleaches.. alah.. sayang rambut..hahaha Happy Fart. hahaha.2 more hours and Im turning 21!! GAHHH!! I miss Arman like crazy.

I dont wanna grow old! but I do want this cute bunny.

Geram kan!! Mcm nak picit dia sampai keluar taik hijau!!!! :S

2008-09-14T00:06:00.008+08:00

just something to share with you guys. :)

ladrang harjuno - Gamelan Keraton Djogjakarta

It's been awhile since I last been musically active. I miss my angklung days so so much. Didi, Yasmin and I were in the same CCA since Primary 1. hehe. We were like little mak neneks with our costume. The batik skirt, the horrible make up and red lipstick. Eww. haha.. And then angklungs in our hands. Sometimes we had to play 2,3 angklungs at one time. Pro..hahha..

And then I remembered that Emiliya and I,god, do you girls still remember Emiliya!? I wonder how is she right now. We used to look at her butt all the time. hahah! yeah, so me and Emiliya were the first people to took up Kulintang after that. Naik pangkat ah.. hehe. and we got stuck playing that for school and Marine Parade CC . Didi, you stood behind me! You had three sticks in between your fingers and i was the melody. POWER AH! omg.. glory glory days.. i love it soo much. and i miss it soo much too. I rememberd the kakak-kakak from RGS, they were super friendly and nice to us kids. :D

And then, when we all got into secondary schools, we lost contact with the music instruments..wasted..

And I guess among the three of us, I'm the only one who is super semangat. Look at me now, I'm gonna start playing the Gamelan soon after Ramadhan. Weee!! =D
I guess, I cant run away from it. My great grandfather used to play the wayang kulit and apparently,although my blood is quite diluted already, somehow the influence is soo strong.

I knew along, that one day, I'll be the only hope to still carry out the family tradition. Everyone is too modernise these days. My cousins, my brothers.. They forgot about our roots. Our culture. Our tradition.

Hell yeah,i love Skateboards,deathmetal,punkrock. But still, there will always be a piece of me that will be attached to the simpler traditional things in life.

Okay.
Now. I'll shall put up my birthday wishlist.
wait. shit. i think i forgot about zuhur. Dammit!
no wonder it feels weird.

Anwyways,here's the quicklist:
SKATEBORAD
SHOES. SKATE SHOES.VANS. WHATEVER. I NEED A NEW PAIR OF SHOES.
BODY SHOP PERFUME. AMORITO. THE USUAL ONE.
A CUTE CLUTCH BAG FOR RAYA.
MONEY.
LOADS OF MONEY.
HAHA.
OH YAH, MAC HALF-HALF LIPSTICK
wat else.
hmm. OH!

ROMANTIC NIGHT OUT WITH FLOWERS,BALLOONS AND CANDLES AROUND ME. (ARMAN,YOU BETTER TAKE NOTE)

siak eh. aku tahu. hahaha!
ahahaha! WEEE!!

P.S. Tolong jangan buat mcm gini depan masjid. Tebiat.

2008-09-12T01:38:00.006+08:00

A week ago I had a random trip to K.L with aunts and cousins. We drove up there at night and my auntie was going up to 150km/h. Power!! HAHHA.. Honestly, i was a bit scared because she was zooming past almost every car beside her.. and it didnt help at all when my cousin was telling us stories during his NS days. Him being a firefighter, he was considered "lucky" cuz within that 2 years, he saw people jumping off from buildings, almost knocked down a barrel of gas in a blazing fire. And he was telling us about accidents..how he saw the this pakcik's face who got hit on the dashboard during an accident, the impact was so strong, there was a hole in his head and blood was gushing out like a fountain. :S

Anyways.. it was a quick getaway. Couldn't fast during those 3 days. haha. happy. :)

I'm down with shitload of assignments again. Projects, essays. Scripts. Character Bibles. Presentation. Guess which director i chose for my presentation? P Ramlee. hahaha!!

So,
Last Tuesday, Arman and I went out to celebrate our 1st year. We break our fast and then we put together this sketchbook of us. Crazy photos.. and we talked about what happened during those days... Headed to our favourite spot and took pictures. 15 minuts later. The camera died on us. -_- I was so upset. And I decided to run around the playground. Climb like a monkey and was asked to sit still many times. sheessh.. We played catching and it wasnt long enough for us to start sweating and start getting all cranky. HAHA. typical....

Arman, you must give me flowers on my birthday okay?
I swear I was hoping to get them last Tuesday. But nah... booo!!

And on the 10th was my rabbit's birthday.

It was more like her purchased date. So she's 2 years old now. Fat and healthy. =) And we are still trying to adopt a companion for her. I tell you, adoption is so troublesome. Bunny was actually a birthday present from my colleagues..sweet girls.. :)

And now. Its goddamn 2am and Im still awake.
School school. Im dreading to go to school tomorrow..no...............

2008-09-04T23:03:00.006+08:00

I know I've been planning my birthday wishlist since last month.. but really.the best birthday gift that I can ever ask for is, to find peace in myself..I want to stop struggling and finally start to breathe normally again..sigh.....

anyways

Happy 1 year anniversary to us .. today,tomorrow and forever.

You've always been the one I seek for.. the only person who treats me good.. Thank you for appreciating my love,understanding me on cranky days and for all the times that you've been here..I'll never forget our earlier days, till you made it official on the 5th of last year..
Something else happened on the 4th. something funny..remember? heeehee..

I love you my Boogerdude.

From the very bottom of my heart... =')
I'll wear the necklace around me like how I wear you in my heart each day...thank you darling..
5 more years.. :)
I love U.

I'll be back on Sunday.Take care sayang..

2008-08-29T20:26:00.002+08:00

sometimes you feel like you're choking yourself with bottled up feelings and constantly struggling for air.

your stomach churned as you get stucked into the turbulence.

you see yourself slowly eaten up in the vortex.

you know you cant get out on your own,you know you need someone to extend her/his hand and grab hold of you to stop you from being swallowed down.

you know so much but yet you're too stubborn to let anyone in.
anyone.even someone familiar.

Didi,Arman. i need you both the most right now..
Help me please..

boo

2008-08-26T22:58:00.004+08:00

hey..yeah..im really sleepy. my eyebags are getting heavier everyday....... and thank god there was only screening just now..

it rained.

it rains everyday. today was exceptionally cold and i headed down to Yishun to meet boyfie and his sisters. They missed me too much..aww..

I got to his place,talked,joked,ate chocolates.. and laughed. Walked in, and saw Arman sleeping peacefully on his bed.I sat beside him.. tried to wake him up and obviously,it's useless cuz he's one hell of a heavy sleeper. I crept beside him and kissed him hello. And,he grabbed my hand and kissed it. but with eyes half opened.. awww..

It sucks to see him working long hours throughout the night and hearing his sleepy voice in the morning once he gets home. He's turning into a workaholic. GOod but yet bad.haaa... ya know wat i mean. you have less and less time for each other.. plus my crazy timetable which is ALWAYS changing. pfft. but i still love him so.. :) one more week to our 1st year. wah..fastt man..

He put on my shawl and pretended to be a bloody mak nenek. haha. Cranky mak nenek.

And urgh.. shooting tmr.. thank god ive got the worst job in the first week. hahaa.. tomorrow,can relek one corner. Just follow wherever the camera man goes with my bloody furry boom mike. hehehe..

i should just go to sleep now. and sometimes i hate it when im all alone at home and nobody picks up their damn hp(s) when i call them. sheesh.

2008-08-24T13:48:00.001+08:00

Yay! i will be getting another wabbit. :D

2008-08-23T11:35:00.003+08:00

Production aside,pending pile-up assignments and after school cranky-ness away, we had a bbq party last night. it rained and it was damn cold and Sonny's house was damn big and we almost lost our way there. .

The tandoori chicken was damn nice.. and so was the swing which made me almost puke.

Say Hello to Hugo. 3 months old and already a molester. He violated my left chest.And this cute adorbale creature is Jihah's pussycat. EEEEEEEE! you had no idea how much i wanted to squeeze it to death!! ARRGHH.

2008-08-15T22:53:00.002+08:00

should have agreed to hop on uncle shukor's bike and ride to jb. and meet the rest at batu pahat. fuck lah.

you know what's a girl's biggest weakness?
LOVE.
yes.thats right. love makes us so weak to the point where we get totally selfless over someone who dont really quite deserve it sometimes.
and i tell you.these boys can really drive us crazy .

ARGH!

i'll be having a major bbq party now if i followed them just now and i would be picking durians tmr if i didnt decide to stay here..stupid stupid stupid.

and sorry,no offence but seriously.fuck the burning smell lah.
and fuck the mosquitoes thats roaming in the house biting me all over.
fuck everything lah.
everythings fucking me up.

school.friends.boyfriend.food.my fucking aggressive bowel movements.i dont know .im just venting it all out here so that i dont have to hurt anybody later.

oh wait. i think i just did.
HAH.

fuck lah.

2008-08-13T23:01:00.002+08:00

explaining things that in the end will put you to blame is really effed up.
why even bother telling how you feel when in the end,you find yourself back to square one,still thinking that you're right and whatever you've just said was misunderstood.

have you ever come to a point where you get so tired of coming up with solutions and hoping that you'll get an eager face dying to meet you at the end of each week?

you know what.
as for now
i cant
be
bothered

so
fuck
boys.
period.

and you,you dumb girl. don't be jealous that i'm still with him after all these times that you're oh so trying to find loopholes.you pisses me off so bad.

2008-08-09T23:54:00.002+08:00

its been an exhausting week.sch just started back. and im begging for my bed everytime after class ends. the timetable is crazy and ive been pms-ing really really bad which got us set on the wrong foot last thursday and yeah.well.. it didnt turn out that bad after that.heh. sorry bunny, my bad.. :(

i know i know i havent been there for Didi..im so sorry babe that i have to cancel meet ups and cut off conversation short. ive not been a good friend. i swear my schedule is really crazy and they are constantly changing the timetable..once everything starts to settle down,i promise i'll meet up with you and Darfy okay. and Yes, Shikin and Hudsie too! :D

okay..hmm..tats it i guess..
loads of hugs and damn tmr is Sunday.

i am so missing everybody!! even Arman too! Loads of HUGGSSSSS!!

2008-08-04T01:05:00.003+08:00

3 things that i look forward to whenever i go over to his place.

Him,his sisters and his pussy . cat.

hahha.he's fat and loves to sleep just like the owner. and he's toooo cutee!!! and he loves flirting with me. and Arman gets jealous at times.HAHA.

Say Hello to MONGOOSE!!

ee cute nak mampos!! mcm nak pijak2!!! MUAHAHAHHA!!

2008-08-03T10:36:00.003+08:00

hello good morning and im feeling rather catty today.
practically,my day has already turned rotten. so,congratulations whore,you just seem to never fail finding loopholes in anyway.

some people huh.. some people....

2008-08-01T11:44:00.006+08:00

im tired and i feel very irritated.
i bought a red cactus and it looks like a baboon's ass. btw, i named it after Didi. so..everybody say Hello to Didi The Cactus!
cute huh... :)
i had too much food last night and my throat is soar.
i want to blast my music but that brother is sleeping like a pig.which means i cant switch on the speakers and i'll die of boredom. and while im dying,no one will be there to rescue me. not even John Mayer nor Patrick Stump. or worse,not even Arman will come flying to Bedok Reservoir.

and when no one's here to attend to me. i'll be dead for 3 days and my boyfriend might think that im cheating on him. and then,my rabbit might mistake me as her food. and she will turn into a carnivore and eat up my flesh.

and then,she will start a new revolution,eat a microchip, turn into a Super Bunny and avenge my death.

She will bite Arman's toes first cuz he didn't make the effort to take that extra step to meet me. and then she will bite his hands for not returning my call and then she will bite his eyes for not being able to see beyond my pathethic-ness that lies underneath me, and then lastly she will bite his heart for not being able to feel the love that i was dying to feel for the past few weeks.

and then Super Bunny look down. and she sees a rather nice meat. She's considering... should she or shouldnt she bite that piece of?

hmph..
what do you think?

Super Bunny started thinking in her head. "He hadnt been there for her. He's always too tired for her. Maybe if i rip that off,it will make him realize his mistakes."

As Super Bunny approach Da Meat,she knew it was the right thing to do." I SHALL BITE OFF HIS DIGNITY!"

and as she was about to bite on it,

*SPLAT*
Sue woke up and slap her bunny.

"You shouldn't have done tat. I still love him. and I still wanna have kids in the future you moron."

And Super Bunny hop back to her cage and transform into its original form

This is nonsesical and i know im not making any sense. Happy Friday bitches.
sigh.................................

oh btw, DO NOT USE HAIRSPRAYS PLEASE. its made of RABBIT'S EYEBALLS fyi.

2008-07-31T13:11:00.002+08:00

I've been having creepy weird dreams lately. Last night i dreamt that i was pregnant. wtf? and i was getting married. many times i end up losing Arman and not knowing who the guy beside me. There was another time when i dreamt that we lost contact again and meet up when we were 30 and finally got together. And then i dreamt that i had a skate team and we were on the movie GRIND. i dreamt someone stole my pet rabbit and made her pregnant and have kids and THEN colour their furs blue.

wat the hell man.
what the hell.

and shit. it seems like im not gonna be able to buy my freaking shoe. nooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!
:( *sobs*

and its super hot out there. and i need to run some errands and the heat is just gonna kill me.
i have to go tampines some more! so troublesome.

and why does it feels like Friday today?

2008-07-30T22:49:00.005+08:00

I feel really empty.
and its pathethically depressing.
I feel so jaded,i can eat 35 cups of clam chowder and bloat to death.

i wish we had more time.
i wish you weren't tired.
i wish you had the whole week off and spend days with me like how we used to.

i miss us going crazy for each other.
our favourite hang out places are calling us. But the empty seats are left untouched for months now.

1 more hour and mom will turn 50. i wonder how i'll look like when i reach that age.

2008-07-26T22:39:00.002+08:00

it was only 2 days i was away from home. and my brother turned into one MEGA biatch. he called me while i was in a middle conversation asking boud his pants. DAMMIT. how the eff would i know where his pants are when ive not been at home for 2 freaking days?!

and he complaint and scolded me on the phone the other time when i mistook his sandwich for mine on friday.eee!! how annoying!

so i crashed at my aunt's place.played loads of games..haha.and ate quite a lot.screamed our lungs out in her room in the middle of the night cuz my aunt and i got totally freaked out.hahaha. and we had endless fun. and after all these years,my aunt told me tat i look like Jean Danker. GOD. i think she's the 432583th person who told me tat. besides that,i have ah sohs coming up to me at the eyebrow shop saying tat i look like Stefanie Sun which im SO not flattered. and some people even said i look like Maggie Gyllenhall. i dont!

i look like me.fugly wugly goofy me.
no wait.i look like your grandma actually..

anyhoos,my cousins and i and nana went to watch the dark knight and it waS AWWEEESSOOMMEEEe e e e e....... sweet.
headed down to skate park to see em swee tricks. It was skateborad frenzy when all of a sudden they all started doing tricks infront of us. and then we decided to gear ourselves up for a mindless skate session back at yishun.

haha.we were already excited.sneaked out Arman's board,and his sister and i went around skating.hahaha! we were learning and still is.and besides everyone start of like shit and then blossom to great great legends.hahaha.

so now.im pratically psyched.waiting for my pay to come in and tats it.i get myself my own board.hah.at least now ive a reason to be out there somewhere on saturdays .ahaha!

2008-07-21T14:55:00.003+08:00

im really craving for that chicken cutlet rice at the non-existing stall at Yishun..alah.............and i want a pan of hot brownies with chocolate fudge...and a glass of italian strawberry soda at pastamania.ok no. make it 2 glasses. OMG. im hungry.

sheesh.
Didi you've been missed! come home quick and i'll make roti kirai for you. i know how to make them now! haha.

my right eye is in pain.and im not sure why.

mom and i got lost at the highway yesterday and we took one big major turn at toa payoh.we actually wanted to go woodlands from boon lay but we missed the exit.
-_-

its raining and im really tempted to just snuggle up under the comforter and go to sleep.

u know what.i'll do just that right now. and guess what? i have 2 pails of kampong durians waiting for me tonight.huah!!

i shall sleep the afternoon away and transform into a big fat glutton at night. 2 more weeks to school. have you gotten your plasma tv yet?! haha. ok. ok.inside joke.

2008-07-10T22:25:00.002+08:00

Don't you just hate it when you come up to a shop,wanting to buy your breakfast and when you told the auntie, "2 red bean and 1 cheese" and she replied, "Soya bean?" . Don't you just hate it when you asked her to put it into 2 seperate plastic bags,but she put each one in a bag instead? And don't you just hate it when you asked how much,and she reply to you in mandarin and you have no clue what she had just said?

I have one question that no one seems to have the answers to it. WHY DO PEOPLE EMPLOY NON-SPEAKING ENGLISH WORKER AT THE CASH REGISTER OR AT THE FOOD COUNTER OR EVEN AT THE CUSTOMER SERVICE DEPARTMENT HOTLINE?

i swear i feel like slapping her face with the bags of jollybean this morning.

pay is in and guess what REDUNDANT stuffs i bought?
-Shaver
-Deodorant
-Shampoo and Conditioner
-Yong Tau Foo
-Yoghurt
-Cab Fare in the morning.cuz i was late.
and 2 pair of t-shirts. (this is important)

everytime i shop at NTUC FAIRPRICE,i'll never fail to feel so mumsy and "responsible"

den again.i forgot the important stuffs like..
My Rabbit's poop scoop
and her corn corbs..
booking my practicals
my contact lens
Caliban's tickets.
sigh........................................

oh yeah. and a pair of new shoes... double sigh....................

2008-07-05T22:52:00.007+08:00

We had a crazy,screamy totally girly night out in celebration with Didi's 21ST BDAE.haha!

eee.so old.. we totally fooled Didi. Got her in a cab. Blindfolded her. a Super Gerek cab driver to bring us to Pasir Ris Park where Nysha and Ira were desperately trying to light the freaking candles. All the screamings and PULLING OF MY DAMN DRESS INFRONT OF THIS DREADLOCK DUDE!! thanks soo much Dids. The paranoia started sinking in and she kept on pulling my dress even lower! and finally "SURPRISE!!" she was close to tears when she saw what/who stood before her. The heart shaped candles on the grass,the girls..aww..

love ya! and yes.so much for the 7 girls and being at the north side.GAH!! BUT you had a blast right?!! HAPPY 21! I gotta say a HUGE ASS thanks to NYSHA and IRA for all the last minute shopping,discussions and cracking of heads just to decide which cake to buy and what present to get.HAHA.. thanks so much babes! and who can forget MOHN JAYER AND HELEN THE HELLBOY after those 2 days.HAHA. ok ok.inside joke.

now,feast your eyes..
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-06-27T14:15:00.002+08:00

"no more dairy products for you. no cheese,no milk." "sigh...okay.. :("
the doctor has officially forbid me from taking my favourite things..BOO YOU SUCK DOC!

been having migraines for the last 3 days and my body totally gave itself away yesterday..was so weak..but my dad kept cracking up jokes and cursing this chinese man who was talking so effing loudly on the phone and complaining to the receptionist cuz the doctor was late. at that point,i really felt like going up to him,snatched his hp away and throw it on the floor so he'll shut the F up.

i went in 1st! haha! and the china man gave nasty glances at me. i sticked out my tongue at him and went in.
by the time i received my MC and medications.i was soo weak.. and it was scorching hot outside.. i just wanted to get home quikly and rest.

The medicine knocked me out FLAT.haha.when i was awaken by his call at midnite,my head was so groggy..

omg.3 more days and i'll be $250 richer! don't you just love it being almost 21 and getting all these free money by the government! haha! tats the best part. the worst has yet to come. HAHA.

didi..yours will come soon.. oh boy.. i cant wait to see that look on your old face! HAHA.kidding..

2008-06-20T21:07:00.002+08:00

waiting.. patiently..for that one call to ease the outmost missing-ness. i've decided to erase the thought of studying abroad. i cant take the 1 week break away from you.. please..bring me wherever you go the next time around honey.. i miss you so so dearly. come home quick. :'(

by the way

2008-06-16T20:48:00.002+08:00

i find myself thinking of what to get or rather what to wish for when my birthday arrives. Well,im not in a hurry to celebrate being 21. I still have 3 more months to go. OMG. 3 more months!!
shit.

anyways..i was doing some thinking..
and i thought of getting No Doubt's, Return of Saturn album. apparently,my clever brother lend the cd to one his friends and forgot about it.so basically, he lost it.

so i want that album for my birthday.
but if there's any kind soul who has that extra moolas,do get for me the rest of their old albums.hehe

ok next,i really really wanna get that diary which is heavily decorated at vivocity.. ooh yeah!
and i want a nice escapade .. somewhere breezy and care-free...

and i just want my bunny love and my lovely bitches with me .. :)

2008-06-13T12:18:00.002+08:00

its friday.finally. and im gonna kick some ass later..wooh...

dissappear dissappeaar dissappear..
long forgotten..
heavy burden.wasted minds..
needed when needed..
we are just like another replica of each other..
bastards of today..tomorrow..

honestly,no one cares for another one.
this is just an illusion of a pretty world make believe.
don't be disappointed my baby.
just count on yourself and pull it through..

memories tattooed are just memories waiting to be erased.

sigh..
I am sick of.....

2008-06-06T21:41:00.003+08:00

the only thing that's making me sane right now is John Mayer....sigh... :(

2008-06-05T20:55:00.003+08:00

After weeks being mute,he has finally revived.CRANK UP THE SPEAKERS MO'FUCKER!! WOOH!! The bass is just awesome.I dont know what the hell the boys did last night but its back! and sounding even better! Now i can finally go back enjoying listening..watching..to all my online boyfriends..dance around semi-naked.Ouh yeah!!

Guess what? Its our 9th months today! :D:D Totally eggcited! i got to meet up with him for a bit and sent him off to work and the rest of the bus journey was a quiet one after he alighted..And Khai is finally back from South Africa! and he bought me a.... u guess it. A keychain. HAHA. typical overseas gift.haha!but i really appreciate it. I guess i was the only person that got something from him. Aww.... :) and hey at least,he's back! Since when NS men have to be sent to South Africa? anyways.JAMMING PLEASE!!

Work is always sucky. Got to train this new girl..and boy was she a handful.She really tested my patience and i found myself losing my temper along the way.And when i heard tat she would be terminated if her productivity is still low,i felt so guilty for telling the supervisor...and so. i got home and specially made a step by step idiot proof way to do data entry..and ...SHE MADE IT.hahaha! gave her a cute lil note which she ought to read and i rewarded her with an oreo cookie.stingy eh.hahha.taklah..i gave her eclairs too okay.!

i want the k.l trip to happen and im really praying that nothing will come in between.Cuz firstly,I REALLY NEED A VACTION and 2ndly, WATS A SCHOOL HOLIDAY WITHOUT GOING FOR A HOLIDAY!?

2008-05-31T23:05:00.003+08:00

nothing beats having you beside me..and when i told you back in June 07 that i wanna be the person who wipes your sweat everytime, well..i still do.. i love you truckloads boogerdude. :)

oh and i forced him to take the ferris wheel ride at Downtown last night. Husain made Arman flipped out like crazy when he tried to shake the carriage! HAHA. i'll grab hold of the videos that i took and you'll see Arman freaking out so badly.hahaha! Congratulations Bunny! You have conqured you fears for height! heh.. right....HAHHA! random night filled with horrible ninja turtle pizzas.hahha!

that bloody woman

2008-05-25T20:39:00.005+08:00

i went to boat quay for the second time last night.this time with Arman. And knn, this woman really pissed me off so bad. There was no more space left infont of me cuz i stood directly behind the last row of people who were sitting down and this goddamn nabei cb bitch just squeezed her way INFRONT OF ME without saying excuse me!!! and i was so pissed cuz she literally coverd my whole view! and besides, there wasnt any fucking space left!!

i gave her nasty glances,she didnt move.i made nasty comments,she didnt move. i cursed at her loudly, SHE ALSO DIDNT MOVE!!WALAU WEI! THIS WOMAN REALLY HAVE THICK SKIN SIA!!!!

i gave up and walked away and found myself crying cuz i badly wanted to see the view from there. Arman and i walked further up and we found a decent enough spot to view the whole thing. and DAMN, IT WAS SO FREAKING HOT! i tell you, the weather nowadays is soooo CRRAAZY! its too hot and dry and it irritates the shit out of you.

after the whole performance was over,we made our way to raffles place and enjoy the peacful and breezy night. i packed sandwiches for us and we ate and talked and laughed and tickled and abuse each other...as usual... and he frightened an innocent mouse . haha...

oh... monday.. sigh...

Arman,you remind me of 2 double O Five in this picture!

We KNOW how to use the camera.Just that we lose focus sometimes.

SingaporeArtsFESt alakafdaifda

2008-05-24T00:57:00.003+08:00

today,i felt like a dog.

but at the end of the day,it took a 360 degrees turned and i found myself so intrigued by the lights,the performance and the fireworks and laughing by the company of friends. The night was spectacular and i couldn't ask for more after a fucked up shitty day.

honestly,if i had the money,i wouldnt even bother turning back.
ooh.. and LORD OF THE RINGS CAME TO LIFE!

met a real hobbit and real dwarf with AWFUL SENSE OF FASHION.
Fashion Catastrophe.
come on..i need school to start quicker than its stated date. I'm getting restless just waiting for my results..

So,after the performance,we headed down to Timbre and damn it was packed as hell. By then,we were getting really thirsty,badly needed a drink. Head down all the way to Clarke Quay. Trippy moments and finally quench my thirst on Mika's drink. haaa... get our ass seated,like finally and we were wrecking our brains to find a loophole to get away from the hobbit and the dwarf.HAHA.

honestly,something's bothering me real bad.
i should have just shut the fuck up in the first place,not get involved and not get hurt. lying doesnt do you any good. ahh.. shake it off..shake it off.

argh... thinking..contemplating...
blast the earphones so loudly till my ears bleed.

damn im hungry.
sheesh.

dark theatre,horrible screaming session

2008-05-21T22:00:00.004+08:00

HAHA.it was like an orchestra going on when people were trying to catch their breaths after screaming their lungs out at every shock scene. seriously,it gets very tiring after a while and you start feeling so stressed up watching the movie because you know that the next frightening scene is way beyond frightening than the first one.

i kept covering my face with my sweater and there was one time i was caught off guard without my "armour". pokeywak.i screamed like some banshee lah sak!

and i remembered there was a point of time when i lashed out curses and hand signs to the screen cuz the sound effect was so unecessary and it made me felt nervous for no reason.HAHa.

But yet again,it was a great movie.Go catch "Congkak" with a bunch of friends.i swear,even the boys will have their balls screaming at their throats.i know my male colleagues were screaming too.HAHHA!

and as usual the amount of dust at my workplace was unbearable.

and guess what? tmr,confirm MC! YES YES!

MUAHAHAHA!

oh yeah..pictures from our previous outing,on the day when we got our GST money for the first time! nyehehe! this was after eon years of not meeting up.my childhood friends..aww... :) :) Opera Estate Primary School back in 1994... double aww... :) :)Do you girls still remember Shah Junior?! HAHAH! hot stuff pe dia! hahhaa! skali skg dah tak hot lagi! hahha!

just tired and rather empty.

2008-05-20T23:26:00.003+08:00

the exhaustion is creeping in.i hate the workload but i love the company of friends that i have over there. And waddaya know,we're already going out on a date this Friday to the Singapore Arts Festival at Boat Quay. Err..hooray? finally there's something for me to do?. haha..yeah..

so i was going bonkers over petty little stuffs for these past few weeks.and What's up with the all the flesh and unforseen region going on at work?! HAHA! *inside joke*

anyways..life's a dick. been missing the other half really bad. I AM SOCIALLY DETACHED!! aaargh! boring boring boring!

and did you know i got $96 for my first pay?! wtf.haha! cuz i only started working at the last 3 days last month and i forgot to sign the timesheet on the 30th April! *smacks my goddamn head*
so,basically,im OFFICIALLY BROKE.

and im practically dying cuz its crazy not meeting Arman like usual.i miss the talking cock sessions and food oh glorious food.remember,we used to devour on donut factory,squeaming like little girls under the void deck?yes even you did! when you had that first bite of HEH HEH HEA VEN!!!!

AND the food at changi village,our favourite joint at ubi! omg!we've not been visiting them! hjh maimunah!! *SHRIEKSS!!!*

ok ok.. so when's our next date? this saturday? umhum.oh yeah!! AHHH!!!
okay.shut the fuck up sue and go to sleep NOW. i've not been spending enought time with my bed.GO SLEEEPP! nak tgk muka priceless?

HAHA!

dear diary,
can i skip work tmr? nyehehe..

hanging on

2008-05-15T21:50:00.004+08:00

less than an hour was all i had to release all the bottled up missing-ness that ive longed kept for the past few weeks.

i miss you.i miss your magic tricks and you pinching me.i miss laughing so hard whenever we have conversations.
if only your magic tricks could make yourself conjure up infront of me anytime.

i'm jealous everytime my colleagues have dates after work and i've to go home looking forward to nothing..

saturdays are heaven.A day that was god sent from above to let us sit down, and catch up.

i continued crying when u board the taxi..every song in the shopping centre reminds me of you.it was like an anthem going on and on.

1 more day till i get to see you again.
this feeling is sucky.. :/

pissed off

2008-05-13T19:36:00.003+08:00

im hating the workplace because they are grinding up on me and taking advantage of my competency.and seriously,MALAYS ARE LAZY.

i'm a malay myself but i've never seen a community of makciks who always find loopholes to lessen their work burden on a TEMPORARY staff. oh yes,its just on me only.why? cuz i've worked there before for a year and they've come up with reasons saying that i'm an expert.bla..bla..

3 fucking months. and that's it.school starts and im not working there again.

i plan to purposely fall sick tmr.make time for my beloved bed. or if not.i'll just pretend to be sick.come to work LATE.look ill.and have vicks and minyak kapak,and panadols all lined up on my freaking desk.

hello people!

2008-05-10T11:27:00.002+08:00

WADDAYA KNOW..right after assesment,my computer die on me. yes. first it was the CPU switching on and off like nobody's business.Next,the precious modem! and THEN now,my bloody multi-tasking monitor! argh! which means no more being online while watching the teevee on a small window anymore! there goes my 3k worth of f* up gadgets! ARGHHHH!!

it was depressing being cut off from the internet cuz i couldnt get my daily dosage of my hottest guitarist on youtube.hahahah!!
well wats going on right now? just work and more shitty policy holders to enetertained. morning rush and missing out on the boyfRiend a whole lot.it sucks just being able to meet u for just a couple of minutes yesterday..i cant wait for our next meet up..

1 more week to go..
*clutches my heart dearly* :'(

ITS OVER!

2008-04-22T12:40:00.003+08:00

Two words. FUCK YEAH!! HELLO SLEEP! and GOODBYE SHITASS PROJECTS!!
hahahaha!
I AM DONE AND OVER WITH ASSESMENT!! CAN PARTAYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!

Finally balls.No more sleepless nights.wooo!
NEVER go in lasalle if u want to slack.never.you'll find yourself struggling like mad.and and.. wah.. tat deserving sleep tat i had from 9am till 12.30pm was UBER SHIOK!!
i still can't believe i was up for more than 24 hours since sunday.we were tripping like fuck yesterday.HAHAHA.

so what now?
sit down and shake leg lah....hahahaha!